Nothing Wrong With A Little Self-Love!

October 16, 2021 by Dena in Blog Updates 0 0

I believe that Self-Love is not only good; it is necessary. There are so many times throughout the day that our energy, time, attention and mental focus is given to things that have to be done, people that need our help, remembering all the tasks we have to accomplish and then all the extras that are thrown at us at any given moment. It is exhausting, draining and sucks the life out of us some nights. There are times I want to just veg out on the couch and watch a mindless television show because I do not want to think, be responsible or have any demands on me for the rest of the night. I am spent!

Notice I said that for me “there are times”, but for many people this is a daily occurrence. They have not replenished their energy to feel motivated, given focus to their passions at all and have not engaged in activities that promote happiness. Through the years of working with clients on this topic, the common factors I often hear are:

There is no time
Feeling selfish about doing something for yourself because someone else will be lacking your attention or needing to pick up the slack
The desire to get everything done to a high standard and perfectionistic manner that no time is left for yourself
Fearing others will judge you for being a slacker if you spend time doing something for yourself.

What I often wonder about are the subconscious thoughts that really impede someone from showing themselves Self-Love. These are negative thoughts about themselves and often include:

Not knowing that they “deserve” to focus on their needs
Placing obstacles in their own way due to not feeling worthy enough to do things that bring them happiness
Listening to self-defeating or unmotivating messages they have heard or state to themselves over and over again.

Well…I am here to tell you that all of these common factors and subconscious thoughts are self-imposed and you no longer have to live within the rigid boundaries or expectations of them anymore. You have a choice everyday whether you will succumb to them or begin to break free of the chains you feel bound by.

When I work with clients and we discuss goal setting I often hear “I want to be Happy”. This is a great beginning, but happiness is a by-product of achieving specific goals that focus on desires, passions, dreams and changes in one’s life. But every successful goal requires Self-Love. Self-Love to believe you are worth the effort for change, you are deserving of goodness and happiness in your life and you only need to be accountable to yourself and your immediate family – not everyone else.

So are you ready to think more positively about yourself and see the opportunities you have to start giving yourself Self-Love?

Here are 10 ways to start making some changes that will make a big difference in your life!

1. Put the electronics away! Electronics are often time suckers and lead to frustration with time wasted that could be dedicated to you. Unplug each day for a certain amount of time to focus on your own needs, thoughts or actions that promote Self-Love.
2. Showing yourself Self-Love is actually “Selfless”. If you do not give attention to replenish and rejuvenate your soul and spirit – no one will! Don’t leave yourself empty and depleted! Start with one action you have wanted to do and begin doing it!!!
3. Perfectionism is good for some things, but not everyday items. Trying to make sure things are always perfect takes so much time and wastes valuable energy. You are left feeling frustrated by the crazy amount of effort and overwhelmed when it’s time to do it all over again. This frustration may not only affect you, but it may affect how you interact with those around you. So instead, loosen up your expectations and begin to refocus on what truly matters in your life. Give your attention to what gives you happiness and doesn’t hold you to unrealistic expectations. This is a way of showing you Self-Love every day!
4. Take pride in taking some time out for yourself because you are worthy enough! This is Self-Love! Don’t wait for someone else to tell you you’re worthy. Take the lead and show others how good it feels to invest in your mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health.
5. Take any inhibiting subconscious thought and bring it to the forefront of your mind. Become aware of your roadblock to Self-Love. Only when you are aware of roadblocks can you make any changes. Journal about this roadblock and where it comes from. Is it yours or someone else’s? Are you going to keep owning it or decide to see yourself as “Enough” and “Worth the Effort” to make a desired change? Journaling is a useful technique to discover inner thoughts, passions and who you truly are! Taking time to journal is a beautiful way to show Self-Love and learn more about you!
6. Create a Mantra! This is a statement you say to yourself daily that is empowering, motivational and supportive of your desired change. Start it with “I” for ownership and repeat it as often as you need to. You can change the Mantra whenever you like and keep it written in a handy place that you can see it or remember it. Post it on your mirror; carry it in your pocket. When you are saying positive and supportive statements to yourself you are demonstrating Self-Love!
7. Meditation is wonderful and amazing for so many reasons: it promotes relaxation and releases stress, balances emotions, increases energy, lowers depression and brings harmony to your life. Taking the time to meditate alone or with others is a wonderful way to show Self-Love!
8. Move your Body! When we exercise we are naturally releasing Serotonin in our brains that helps us feel good, motivated, energetic and feel like we can take on challenging tasks. Endorphins are also being released which help elevate our mood and decrease stress. Then there are the physical and health benefits too. Making a commitment to move your body each day for at least 30 minutes is a great way to show Self-Love!
9. Making healthy eating choices! Taking the time to make a delicious greens and fruit smoothie! When you prepare healthy and nutritious foods you are absolutely showing Self-Love!
10. Be one with Nature. There is something so amazing about being grounded in Nature and connected to Mother Earth. So go ahead and visit the beach, sit in the sand and admire the sound and sights of the ocean. Take a trip into the mountains and admire their beauty and serenity. Go for a hike in your local park and trails. Discover the Nature growing all around you, breath in the fresh air and be in awe of how Nature takes care of its needs, just as you should. All these are great ways to promote Self-Love and share experiences with loved ones.

When it comes down to it, Self-Love is about being happy, challenging yourself where you feel you need a change and surrounding yourself with people that make you feel good and help you be a better you! A support system is helpful, but not an end-all to promote Self-Love! This comes from within you and the thoughts and actions you choose that build you up and promote growth. Have faith, reach out in prayer for support and never be afraid to ask others for help whenever you need it. We are all beautiful people deserving of happiness, respect and love. Love from others and for ourselves. Go ahead and try something new…choose something that resonates for you from the 10 ideas listed above. Stick with it and know you are worth it!!